Podcast: Making the Most of Donor Events: What to Do (and What to Avoid)

Season 4, Episode 33

In this episode, Amy Eisenstein and Andrea Kihlstedt share expert tips on how nonprofit staff, board members, and key leaders can make the most of donor events. Too often, staff members stick together, leaving guests feeling disconnected. Instead, events should be an opportunity to strengthen relationships and move fundraising forward.

If your team has ever struggled with feeling awkward or unsure about engaging donors at events, this episode will give you the tools to turn casual conversations into lasting relationships.

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Amy Eisenstein:
Have you ever been at an event and all the staff members are talking to one another? If so, today’s episode is for you.

Hi, I’m Amy Eisenstein. I’m here with my colleague and co-founder, Andrea Kihlstedt. And today, we have a very interesting topic, if I do say so myself, about talking to donors at events. And what staff, and board members, and key leaders should do at events. And the reason that we’re talking about this is we had an alumni meeting — clients of Capital Campaign Pro alumni — graduates who have led successful campaigns come together.

And they were talking about the importance of talking to people at events, and how awkward it can be, and how uncomfortable it can be, and how the instinct is to just stand against the wall and talk to your colleagues, instead of mixing and mingling with donors. So, if that resonates, if you’ve witnessed that before or if you’ve been part of that before, I know I’ve been guilty of that. What should you do?

Donor Events Are a Huge Opportunity: Make the Most of Them

So, Andrea, as always, why don’t you kick us off with some ideas about if you want to set the stage more and talk about why this is important or just dive right in and talk about what to do at your events.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Great. Thank you, Amy. Here’s why it’s important. It’s important because it’s a huge opportunity. And if you and other staff members plaster yourselves to the wall or are in a little gaggle by the food table, you lose the opportunity to talk to donors, to talk to board members, to get to know people in your organization and to help them feel more comfortable.

Making Everyone Feel Comfortable at Your Event

So, I want to lead off, Amy, by saying that it’s not just staff that feel uncomfortable at events. That it’s not as obvious, but I think often, board members and attendees feel awkward, too. They go, and they’re standing around, and they’re waiting for the program and they don’t quite know who to talk to. And they may or may not know other people. And it’s very unnerving to think about going up to somebody you don’t know.

I mean, some people do it easily, but many people don’t. Going up to someone you don’t know and saying, “Hi, I’m Andrea Kihlstedt. I’m happy to meet you. I’m the development director of XYZ. Thank you so much for coming. Tell me about yourself.” So hard. People are not comfortable doing that, so we have to work on it.

As staff members particularly, or board members and executive directors, we have to work on making it happen because it’s such an opportunity, first of all, to get to know people. And second of all, to make other people who are at your event feel more comfortable and be happy that they went.

Amy Eisenstein:
Right. If they feel uncomfortable and just stand by the bar with a drink, and aren’t talking to anybody, and nobody’s coming up to them, it’s not a good experience and they won’t come back.

First, Read the Room

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Right. So, one of the things, I mean, just going from that, we have many things to suggest here. But one of the things is scan the room. If you scan the room, you will see people who are standing there, looking like they don’t know who to talk to. They’re by themselves. Or you’ll see people on the outside of groups who aren’t part of a group, but they don’t know where to turn and where to go. And that’s an invitation for you to go up and say:

“Hi, I’m so-and-so. I’m so happy you’ve come today. And I’m so happy to meet you.”

Amy Eisenstein:
Yes. And have one question prepared. And that’s:

“Tell me why you came today. What’s your connection to our organization? Tell me a little bit about yourself.”

So, you don’t want it to be impromptu. So, I like the idea of scanning the room, that’s important. But let’s back up and talk about setting some goals, and planning, and preparing before these awkward, uncomfortable stand against the wall kind of situations. Because I think it’s not just a few introverts, but more than half the people in the room.

Unless people know people really well, and lots of people, unless they’re real true extroverts, most of the people in the room will be in that position that you described of being slightly awkward and uncomfortable. So, let’s make a plan in advance to help with that.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Right. Think of yourself as a savior.

Amy Eisenstein:
I like it.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
You’re actually making things better for the people who are there. You’re not just idly inserting yourself in an awkward way. You’re genuinely greeting people and opening your metaphorical arms to them. So, I like that. Let’s start at the very beginning.

As staff members, this whole process is facilitated if you do some planning in advance. If you take a look at the list of people who are going to be coming to the event and look for names of people that you would like to get to know, you haven’t yet met, or people you know that you would like to introduce to other people who were there. Do some thinking about:

“Okay, oh, I see Joe is coming. And Joe might enjoy meeting Sally. So, let me put Joe on my list of people to go over and talk to. And I can actually take him over and introduce him to Sally.”

Or if I make plans to do two or three of those introductory facilitated sessions, the whole evening is going to go a whole lot better. And I can plan that in advance.

Amy Eisenstein:
Right. So, first of all, I think we’re mostly talking to development directors here, but let’s actually help development directors facilitate this for lots of people, because your board members are awkward and uncomfortable.

Assign Your Staff Tasks and Roles

Your executive director is probably awkward and uncomfortable, the rest of your staff. So, let’s give them all jobs. It doesn’t have to be on you, Development Director, to do all of this greeting, and welcoming, and comfort-making, and meaning-making.

I think a big part of the development director’s job is to make sure that everybody on the team has a role, understands it, will execute it, because then you’re going to be able to talk to everybody there. You, meaning leaders of the organization. Rather than just the development director who realistically may be putting out fires and dealing with the caterer, doing other various sundry things.

But I think making plans in advance, looking at the list. Really figuring out who is it important to greet, welcome, learn about.

• Who do you want to schedule time with afterwards?
• Who do you want to introduce to one another?

So, let’s go through it and make a plan or make goals. Let’s talk about what are the goals. Make everybody feel comfortable and welcome.

Connecting People to One Another

What else?

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Introduce people to one another that they might have some opportunity with.

Amy Eisenstein:
Yeah. So, I think when you’re thinking about who is coming that might meet each other. So, isn’t it wonderful when you’re at an event and a board member comes up to you and says:

“Susan, I think you might have some things in common with Sally. Let me introduce the two of you.”

And then there’s three people in a conversation and three people less awkward. So, who are those good introduction partners, and who do people need to be introduced to? I think that’s great.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Another really simple thing that you would like to do is to find some people that you don’t yet know and learn something about them. I mean, that’s really simple. And it turns out that most people, if you ask them about themselves, are really happy to tell you. At many events, you have some people who are relatively new to your community who have just moved into town. They’re looking to find connection. And you can help facilitate that if you learn something about them.

So, imagine that — imagine, what would I have to learn about these people in order to really help them connect better in our community? So, number one, do some homework by looking at your list beforehand. Set yourself some goals that you want to talk to at least three people, or however many. Five people, 10 people, depending on how ambitious you are.

How many people do you want to be talking to while during the course of this event?

• Are there specific people that you want to get?

And let me tell you about a wonderful little strategy that our friend, Peter Heller, uses. He has something that he calls a whisper campaign. If there are people that he knows he wants to have a meeting with, he will go over to them during an event and pull them aside and say:

“It’s been on my mind to get together with you. Is it okay if I call your office on Monday to schedule a time to get together?”

He kind of whispers that off to the side. Then if they say, “Oh, sure,” then you have a sure entree in getting a meeting with that person, whoever it is. So, if there are people you are hoping to get a meeting with, use events to whisper to them, and get their permission to call their office and schedule an appointment. I think that’s a brilliant little strategy.

Amy Eisenstein:
Yeah. We haven’t really talked about that, but after the event is almost more important than the event itself in terms of the fundraising. And so, who are you going to make those connections with that you really want to follow up meeting with? And then the follow through is key.

Figure Out in Advance Who You Want to Connect

I want to go back to something that we touched on earlier. So, figuring out in advance who you want to connect, match make. I think for the executive director and board members, I want to have a data collection mechanism, too. And so, if I’m saying to the executive director, “You’re responsible for talking to these three people or learning about these three people,” what do we want to learn? Because they need more guidance. The executive director, board members, they need more structure. So, what are three questions that they might consider asking? And then getting back that information into the database.

So, for example, easy generic things are, “What brought you here tonight? What motivated you to come?” “Oh, my friend, so-and-so invited me.” Okay, maybe you knew that, maybe you didn’t. “What kind of volunteer work are you involved with? Are you involved with volunteer work? Tell me about that. What about our mission resonates with you?” So, what are the three things that you might want to learn about a person? And then if each board member is assigned to meet two people and learn something about them, how do they get that information back to you so that you can do something constructed with it and use it to follow up?

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Amy, just thinking strategically about how to make this work well. I could imagine that it would work to pull together a small group, let’s say of five to seven people, board members, staff members, before the event. Together, look at a list of the attendees, and come up with some goals and strategies for everybody. And then after the event, get that same group together on a Zoom and say, “All right. Let’s report in. Who did what? Who talked to whom? Let’s find out what happened.”

Amy Eisenstein:
It can be easier or harder. But maybe during cocktail hour, there’s one person that a board member’s supposed to find or connect with. Or when they check in, you have other staff members helping bring that person over to the board member, otherwise they might be seated at their table. There might be three people that they’re supposed to learn things about or make a follow-up plan with at their table.

So, really thinking through how are you going to facilitate these introductions, making sure that people bump into each other, introduce themselves, because it can get crowded and unwieldy. But if you have maybe a group of teenage volunteers as people check in and say, “Oh, so-and-so, we’ve been expecting you. So-and-so, board member wanted to make sure that they said hello. Could I bring you over and introduce you?”

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Amy, that makes such a difference. I’m so glad you said that, because that happened to me recently, where I went to an event at a small arts organization. And someone came up to me. It was a new development director whom I hadn’t met. And she said, “You’re Andrea Kihlstedt, aren’t you?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “It’s been on my mind to meet you. I’m so happy you’re here. Can I call you next week and we get together for a cup of coffee?”

And somehow it felt so good that she had her eye out for me. That just felt so intentional. It wasn’t that she was just bumping into me by chance. There was something about the planning of that that really opened me up to being willing to meet with her.

Amy Eisenstein:
Right. Interesting. Yes. So, I think really preparing your team, your leadership team, your board members, some volunteers who are helping on the committee, with some key questions, open-ended questions, often starting with how or what. How do you feel about this? If you can connect those questions back to the mission, it’s a boys and girls club. And how do you feel the kids are doing? What do you hear from your son or daughter who participates?

Or at a school, certainly that could work as well. “Oh, so-and-so is doing this project in science class. Have you heard about it?” Depending on the mission of your organization, you may have to be more thoughtful and intentional about what type of questions. But really give people those in advance to help them start those open-ended conversations.

The Power of Simple Index Cards

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Amy, I’m fond of index cards. You know that I’m old-fashioned. And I find that index cards have wonderful purposes. They particularly have wonderful purposes if you wear things with pockets. Because getting on your phone, looking in your phone for notes is one thing, but just pulling out an index card that has a couple names on it or a couple facts on it, you can slide it right back into your pocket, can help you say:

“Oh, yes, I’m looking for Tim Anderson. It says it on my index card. Let me put it back. Okay, I talked to Tim. Now who am I supposed to be talking to?”

Or a little scrap of paper. Just make a little note. Tuck it away in your pocket. When you’re feeling like you don’t know where to go next, pull it out and have it be your marching orders. Write down your marching orders, because you may forget them in the moment.

Amy Eisenstein:
And I’ll just add that if you’re on your phone with those notes instead of note cards, that’s fine too.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
It’s fine too. It’s fine too, except that so many of us get lost in our phones and it makes us feel inaccessible.

Amy Eisenstein:
Right. If you’re looking at your phone.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
If you’re looking at your phone. So, to the extent you can stay off your phone-

Amy Eisenstein:
Better.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
… during the event, it’s better. Listen, I use my phone plenty. I’m not that old-fashioned. But for something like this, actually a little piece of paper that you can glance at works better, because you’re going to hide yourself in your phone like everybody else.

Amy Eisenstein:
Right. But don’t put anything on the paper that if you drop it or leave it on a table and someone else finds it, that it’s going to be embarrassing or problematic. So, just the facts, ma’am.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Just the facts, ma’am.

Amy Eisenstein:
Right. So, don’t write anything down that’s going to embarrass anybody if they see it over your shoulder or if you happen to leave it on a table, or if it falls out of your pocket. You know what? Maybe that’s a good place to leave it.

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Right. That’s funny.

Final Thoughts

Amy Eisenstein:
Yeah. Plan for your events, plan for the follow-up, plan for the introductions. You want to make people feel comfortable. You want to learn things about donors, and attendees, and how you might follow up. And prime those follow up meetings, because that’s where the magic happens at relationship building and fundraising. What do you want to add?

Andrea Kihlstedt:
Here’s what I want to add: You said that’s where the magic happens, and I firmly believe that’s true. And let me take that a step farther. If you do this really well, you can start to see that all of the stuff that you’ve worked so hard on at the event and to plan the event, all the catering, and the speeches, and the flowers on the table, and the napkins, and all the stuff you have to work on for all of that, is only a mechanism for these meetings to happen.

Now, think about that for a moment — that means that if you sit in the corner, you put all this time and energy into that, and you’ve lost the heart of why you’re doing it.

Amy Eisenstein:
Right. So, let me just say that whatever you raise at the event is just a teeny-tiny fraction of the fundraising potential from the people in the room. So, if you think that the money that’s coming in for the event itself is the point, you’re mistaken. The point is the relationships that you’re building at the event have the potential to give you a multiplier of what you actually raised at the event. So, just keep that in mind. Keep that top of your mind for your volunteers.

Also, it’s funny, we haven’t brought this back around to capital campaigns. Now, your regular ongoing fundraising activities, like an annual gala or dinner, or whatever, golf outing, whatever you’re doing, are going to be happening perhaps, or for sure, periodically while you’re in different phases of a capital campaign.

And you do want to think that through, and be aware and be conscientious of where you are in that campaign process. So, just a reminder, that’s what we do in terms of helping organizations with strategy and planning their regular ongoing fundraising events or campaign-specific events with your team.

So, I want to encourage you to visit our website, capitalcampaignpro.com, and sign up to talk to us. If you’re looking for help with your campaign strategy and your fundraising strategy, that’s what we do with our clients every single day. So, thank you for being here. And we’ll see you next week.